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1 Comment on For those of you in the United States…

  1. Arvilla Abbott Magneson, M.A. // November 9, 2012 at 6:58 pm // Reply

    How strange that when I adopted children in transracial adoptions, we thought we would be a family like others–with our challenges and our joys. We believe that each individual has moments and aspects of enormous impact which must be addressed, but which can be faced as an adventure or an obstacle.
    If adoptees choose to focus on their race rather than their humanity, they are giving in to the same racism which they encounter. If they choose to focus on their birth parents’ sacrifice to offer their offspring a better life, they are ignoring the love and devotion of those parents who wanted them desperately and love them deeply and equally.
    Be careful, lest you turn something beautiful into something harmful and become part of the problem rather than the solution.
    Not every biological child was planned by his or her parents, not every good thing is planned. Adoption is serendipity and beauty as well as a struggle to deal with genetics–as every family must–and the issues of bond and trust, which are largely the result of the infant’s not receiving enough attention early enough. This is the fault of agencies–not countries and not adoptive parents. By focusing on race, separation anxiety, and identity crisis, you do adoptive children a disservice by focusing solely on the negative aspects of adoption,. In short, you take problems each and every individual faces and label it as part of adoption only. This is an erroneous and dangerous concept.

    Arvilla Abbott Magneson, M.A.
    Salt Lake City, Utah 84103-2540

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