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A Love Letter To The Minnesota Adoptee Community As Written By An Awkward 7th Grade Version Of Kevin Ost-Vollmers

Hey Minnesota adoptee community,

Um. I like your shoes. They’re neat. Did you watch the Vikings game?

So. I think you’re kind of awesome. What I mean to say is. Um. I like you. Not like you, like you. I like you, like, you know, I want to, um, hug you like you. *Blush* *Oh, jeez. This is so hard.*

Um. You’re really cool because of sweet books like this one, which was just, ah, released…er…published. What’s the word again? *Ugh*

Did you see The Avengers is now out on DVD? Haha! Cool. Hulk smash! Yeah…

Um. You’re really sweet because of plays like this one, which is, like, you know, off the hook, says, um, Ebert. Roger Ebert..?

And you’re totally cool because of film festivals like this one.

They’re going to be playing some super cool movies! Are you going to the party afterwards? Um. Wanna go with me or, ah, something..? I mean, it won’t be like a date! It’ll be like, you know, ah, for fun because it’s cool. Mayda, Dan, David, and Kate will all be there. And they’re totally dreamy. *Blush* Everybody will be there. Haha…  *Totally blowing my chance!*

So, ah, yeah. You’re awesome. Your dedication to all that you do is, um, gnarly, like, um, Gnarls Barkley gnarly…I think.


Laterz – KOV

P.S. So, ah, want to go steady…with me?  Have you ever seen my dog?  So cool.

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