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Parenting As Adoptees – Be a Part of the Future, Today!

Land of Gazillion Adoptees believes that this is the time of the adoptee. Adoptees are finally being recognized as a legitimate voice in the adoption experience. Sure, we still have a long way to go; it’s an uphill battle against mainstream ideas about adoption and the powers that be, but this IS our time and we (adoptees) are the future. Adoption agencies may use the faces of youth adoptees to pull on our heartstrings and perpetuate the old way of adoption, but the faces of adult adoptees are looking towards new times, new policies, and new conversations about the adoption experience.

Case in point: Parenting As Adoptees. While we struggle to change decades old policies and practices, we also strive to support each other and talk about what really matters to us NOW. Adoption is not a finite experience and the repercussions of our relinquishment and adoption echo throughout our lifetimes. Every piece of our lives that we weave together has the thread of adoption running through it; our relationships, our careers, and how we parent, if we so choose. As adoptees, many of us have a very complicated relationship with parenting. To some, it is a path to healing and understanding, to others it is the doorway that leads to further longing and sadness. To all of us, this is a conversation that is just getting started. Parenting As Adoptees is a wonderful beginning of a discussion of an adoption experience that is equally as rich and diverse as our individual adoption stories.

And, really, who better to give us advice, provide insight, or just touch our hearts than other adoptees? As I’ve said before, adoptees do it best. We are our own best allies and role models for how to navigate the complex terrain of the adoption experience. There are so many of my personal experiences in adoption that I believe were less traumatic and more enriching because I had the privilege of receiving counsel from other adoptees through blogs, books, and in-person conversations. I will rely on Parenting As Adoptees to help me navigate and understand my own experience as an adoptee parent and will never forget what a gift it is to have this resource from my own community.

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Parenting As Adoptees Formal Announcement>>

1 Comment on Parenting As Adoptees – Be a Part of the Future, Today!

  1. I agree that parenting as an adoptee can raise so many conflicted feelings-sometimes I do feel that there has been healing but for me but I never, ever, go days without thinking that I wish I still had my connection to my birth family. For adoptees, like me, parenting is even harder without the typical role models to help guide you throughout the whole process. The times I grieved for my birth mom the most (even more than the norm-I feel that my whole childhood was spent grieving for my lost family) was the day I got engaged & the day I found out I was pregnant. When my girls were babies I really struggled with the intense feelings that I had. I was so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a parent without any help or guidance…..

    Fast forward 12 yrs. & I’m a much more confident parent than I used to be, although I still have those moments when I’m overwhelmed but within the norm. I read a lot of parenting books, psychology books, self-help guides, and finally found a really good non-judgmental therapist to help me through the crazy times. A really good book I read was Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman and The Primal Wound (can’t think of the author now). The most important thing I noticed was that people like me, who have suffered so much loss & violence, can still be good parents. That’s what I was looking for, people who have gone through similar situations and were able to go on with their lives and raise their children with all of the love & respect that I never received. Reading your blog helps too because it validates all of the feelings I have about my adoption & how it has affected me throughout my life. My adoption experience has made me a more conscientious and respectful parent and an advocate for children.

    I really like the honest dialog that you have created on this blog, please keep it going. Something I would like to see more of are adoptees that have found their birth families & what happened afterward. I have found my birth family but now I’m not sure what to do. What are your personal thoughts about the programs that are offered now to reintroduce adoptees to their birth countries?

    And, one last question- where or whom does all of the money go to when a child is adopted? A women I knew, when I lived in NY 15 yrs. ago, said she & her husband had to pay $35,000 to adopted her son from Korea.

3 Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. PBS Made Me Cry « Land of Gazillion Adoptees
  2. Adoption Discussions Radio Show on "Four for Friday" | Laura Dennis Blog
  3. Worth a Turkey « Land of Gazillion Adoptees

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