Comment: Why is being an adoptee an angry issue? Why make it seem as if we are always slighted?
I am a well educated and professional “adoptee” and I do not feel anger. I do not look upon my adoptive parents poorly, but instead with respect and love.
I remember a “Friends” episode that aired in the heyday of “Friends” where Monica did NOT want to adopt a child because it wouldn’t be “theirs.” Sure, it was “Friends,” but it was part of the social media at the time and reached a large number of TV viewers. I was outraged that someone would think about a child in that way and let it limit their actions in a way that may benefit a life. How could someone not want to adopt? How could a TV show portray an image that only a child of blood was worthy of love and affection?
My parents were given a choice at time of adoption – in a very broad sense – “perfect” or “imperfect.” They chose “imperfect” and lo and behold…I arrived…with 6 toes on each foot. My parents chose adoption. My adoptive parents chose imperfect. My adoptive parents are my parents. I have not had my birth parents come racing to find me. I was perhaps given up for a reason…maybe a bad reason or a socially forced reason, but that was my birth parent(s) choice, and I can respect that they did what was possibly necessary at the time.
We live in a “democratic” society that is trying to sanction women’s reproductive rights – yet the posts I continue to read on this blog are so negative about adoptive parents. If we are still part of a government that is trying to limit reproductive rights in a way that may result in more unwanted pregnancies…perhaps adoptees should begin to focus on what can improve the perception of adoption and promote the pluses (and not only the minuses) of adoption so that the public can make educated decisions and see why adoption can be such a fantastic endeavor. Adoption, as my adoptive parents found out, may not be “perfect” but may still be wonderful and fulfilling.
Make it better for others. Adoptees need to be heard…but it is counterproductive to make more “Monica’s” because adoptive parents become fearful of an angry or disheartened adoptee.