LGA contributor, Nisha Grayson, talks about her pursuit of happiness.
For some reason, my happiness was always and still is questioned when I tell others that I am searching for my birth mother. I don’t understand why my happiness is an issue and why I feel obligated to explain whether or not I am happy with my life, my family, or my adoption. The truth is my journey to seek my birth mother does not mean that I am searching for happiness and my happiness only lies in finding her. I think a huge misconception is that searching for your past must mean you are not happy with your present. For me, that is not true at all.
During my trip and the beginning of my journey, the word happiness always stayed in my mind. It wasn’t until I got back that I learned that I must practice my happiness, meaning that I need to be active in what makes me happy. We all know that happiness cannot be bought, received from someone else, nor can it just appear by saying it out loud.
So, I thought about what it is that I have always wanted to do, but never ended up experimenting with for the sake of feeling safe and comfortable. The first thing that came to my mind was modeling. It was never really my idea to want to model. Growing up, I was complimented on my physical appearance, facial features, my hair, eyebrows, nose, and even my teeth. The compliments gave birth to my desire to want to give it a shot. I stopped telling myself that I was too short, too dark, and not thin enough. I did some research, applied to some modeling agencies in Northern California and then just waited. After being denied at an agency here in Sacramento, they decided to invite me to an audition in San Francisco for Wells Fargo. With the intentions of gaining audition experience and to feed my curiosity, I went and ended up booking the shoot. That was a sign that I could do it. The agency ended up signing me after all and I continued to attend auditions every month for a whole year and I never booked another job since.
To be honest, it is all good, because I have worked as a model and actress for independent shoots and a music video with some good friends in Los Angeles. I have also become a portraits model for local art classes. There is obviously little or no money involved with these jobs, but I can’t complain because I LOVE IT and I am HAPPY being a part of the shoots. Below are a couple of pieces of work I participated in.
Not only does modeling make me happy, but also painting and crossing activities off of my bucket list. Yes, I am under thirty and I have a bucket list. Why wait, ya know?
Adrienne Garcia Photography http://cargocollective.com/adriennegarcia