Dear board members of a certain adoptive parent group that represents Minnesota Asian adoptive families:
My name is Kevin Ost-Vollmers and a couple of you have conversed with me over e-mail. I heard through the grapevine of some of your recent interactions with a well known adoptee organization here in the Twin Cities. Frankly, I was appalled. Nicer adoptees have asked for me not to mention your organization by name. I won’t do that here. However, because I’m snarky, arrogant, and far from being “Minnesota nice,” I will publicly share sentiments of many adult adoptees.
Quit acting like spoiled, entitled adoptive parents. You certainly have the right to demand good post-adoption services from the adoption agencies that promised to be with your children and you throughout the rest of your lives. Nevertheless, you have no right to demand anything from adult adoptees and adult adoptee organizations. We owe you nothing. With that in mind, you should consider it a privilege, not a right, that an adult adoptee organization, members of its board, and volunteers are willing to travel all the way to Alexandria, MN from the Twin Cities to speak to your group.
Consider it an opportunity if an adult adoptee organization reaches out to you. Know that it was unique for the unnamed adult adoptee organization (with which you agreed to partner) to plan, pay for, and host three events designed specifically for you. Know that two members of this adult adoptee organization’s board paid for these events with money from their own pockets. The amount wasn’t inconsequential. With that in mind, it is wholly inappropriate, unprofessional, and childish to walk away from the last event (picnic), while demanding that the adult adoptee organization still send members of its board and volunteers to your precious little get away in Alexandria. (Honestly, I can’t believe that you are doing your own gathering on the same day of the adult adoptee organization’s picnic, which was originally planned for you.)
Dear board members of a certain adoptive parent group that represents Minnesota Asian adoptive families: just because adoption agencies treat adult adoptees and adult adoptee organizations as disposable resources, doesn’t mean you ought to. You’re above that, and you know that adoptive parents and adult adoptees at times need to work with each other. You should be above that. Someday your children will grow up, start their own organizations, and reach out to adoptive parents. The adult versions of your children, like their predecessors, will expect that adoptive parents will treat them with respect. Thank you for your time.
Land of Gazillion Adoptees