Here at LGA, we like to talk about Why the Adoption Establishment Annoys Me, tell everyone why I’m an Angry Adoptee and praise Renegades in adoption, but let it be known to all – this is a tough business to be in. Because of our shared experience in adoption and personal stake in such, emotions are always flying, feelings are hurt, accusations are made, egos are stroked or smashed, eyes roll, tears fall, and hugs abound. There are times when it never feels like business and there are times when you wish it could only be about business.
Adoptees are an especially tough crowd and are prone to finger-pointing and fracturing. We ask others in the adoption constellation not to prescribe our feelings or dismiss our experiences and then spend 50% our energy doing exactly those things to other adoptees. You are in a fog, you are too angry, you are too passive, you are too agressive, there is no compromise, we can only compromise, you are a renegade, you are an elitist and it goes on and on and on. But, let’s all remember that what we are really working for, no matter who we are, is CHANGE. Real change, fundamental change, lasting change.
Everyone works for that change in different ways, in a fog, with a quiet voice, with a loud voice, with a PhD, in the grassroots, but no matter what angle we are coming from we are all adoptees and even though you may think the work you are doing is better, more special or more qualified, when it comes down to it, to those in power, we are just perpetual children with an axe to grind with mommy and daddy. So, if we don’t get our shit together and start fortifying our community, the change we desire will never come to fruition.
I agree with Kevin that the time for adoptees is arrived and we are fools if we do not take advantage of this opportunity as a unified people. I don’t think this means we all have to agree or have the same goals all the time, but I hope that we can remember that we are working to change the adoption establishment, to normalize the anger, and turn renegades into the new voices in the adoption experience. There are no original ideas, only our ideas; there are no credentials, only hard work; and there is no Us if we keep working for individual glory.
Let’s get our shit together people. Many feet is better when you are trying to kick serious ass.