Thank you Laura Klunder for this LGA Exclusive!  BTW, I’m pretty sure I would fall flat on my face in an hour if I played the following drinking game.

P.S. Laura will be a regular columnist for the upcoming Land of Gazillion Adoptees Magazine. We’re so lucky, and I can’t wait to see what she does in the months to come.
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Summer Drinking Games for Adoptees
By Laura Klunder

Hey folks! It’s finally summer in Minnesota! ‘Tis the season of getting out, hooking up, and drinking hard…especially for those of us self-medicating for a bad case of ASS. Here are Coloring Out’s ideas for getting buzzed and building community.*

*The following community building activities are experimental and must be accompanied with a balanced diet, regular exercise, and ongoing support by a licensed mental health professional.

Never Have I Ever…for transracially and transnationally adopted adults of legal drinking age.

You know this game: drink if you have, take a break if you haven’t. Here are some prompts to get you started.

Never have I ever…

1      Pretended to not speak English in order to avoid talking with White people.

2      Hooked up at an Adoptee event or gathering.

3      Sworn off dating White people.

4      Self-identified as a Twinkie, Banana, Oreo, etc.

5      Tried to live up to racial stereotypes.

6      Lost my shit on a loved one when they tripped over my adoption trauma.

7      Googled “Adoptee”.

8      Cried when reading emo poetry about Adoptee identity and/or experiences.

9      Gotten a tattoo of a nationalistic symbol from my country of origin.

10   Thrown a temper tantrum on my birthday.

11   Given up, slammed the door, runaway, driven away, flown away.

12   Written a love letter to another Adoptee.

13   Been afraid of people who look like me.

14   Dropped some knowledge on my White family when they said racist crap to me.

15   Organized for racial justice.

I Spy…neo-liberal White people, cultural appropriation, exotification, racism….the possibilities are endless. Make a general or context-specific list of possibilities that will keep you buzzed during this sobering season of Whiteness. Racism is everywhere, so get your flask ready.

Here’s my general list for when I’m hanging out by the lakes or grabbing a bite to eat. Take a drink with me every time you see:

1      A White person with oriental and/or tribal tats.

2      “Ethnic” menu items contrasted with “normal” food. Example: Korean bbq wings v. hamburger.

3      More American flags than people of color in a space.

4      A couple you’re reading as an Asian woman and a White dude with a beard.

5      White people doing yoga.

Summer Blockbuster Buzz

Summer is an exciting time for epic films starring sexy White people. I like to resist fictional racial violence and ignorant adoption narratives by getting wasted in real life. Conceal and carry your flask to the movies and take a long, hard pull whenever you see the following:

1      A transracial, transnational Adoptee saves the world.

2      Evil’s origins are in loss and displacement.

3      A racist Adopter stars in the role of racist White lady.

4      The only dynamic, brilliant, attractive, and hilarious person of color is killed to save the White hero.

5      Your White friends laugh at a racist joke that you don’t find funny.

White allies! You can get in on our summertime buzz too. Buy us a drink every time you introduce us to one of your White friends who uses our country of origin as an access point to strike up a conversation with us. Or if you’re short on funds and don’t have any ignorant White friends, give us a ride home and don’t get defensive when we talk about racism.

Cheers to a great summer! And don’t forget to drink and adopt responsibly.