Disclaimer:  These are the opinions and views of the writer and author and do not represent all adoptees currently living in Seoul.  These pieces are simply meant to offer a glimpse into the life and ideas of one adoptee living in Seoul.

Meat Market
By P.Teal

Those of us who live in Korea know that this exists amongst adoptees.  Both visitors and residents of Korea participate in this silent exchange of fucking or amongst some, making love.  Some might call it a cultural exchange; as we come from different parts of the world, America, Germany, France, Scandinavia, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Australia, etc.

It is not difficult for us to find each other in Seoul – a city which loneliness permeates every crevice, even if we are not truly alone.  There is a certain disconnectedness in this hyper populated, hyper futuristic city and I don’t know where it comes from.  Some of us are only able to feel connected to people, to this city, at certain times or places.  Maybe we can only find a connectedness to the city while we are staring at it from on top of a mountain, in a temple, or on a walk along the Han River; in certain moments or memories, or over a glass of soju and some grilled pork belly.

I speculate that one of the reasons why adoptees fuck hard here is because it is the most basic primitive way of connecting, maybe other than hunting and killing a dinner together.   Also, in our adoptive countries, many of the visitors have white partners and by coming to Korea are allowed to explore what it is like to have a Korean body.  To be with another Korean body, explore an unknown territory that has been suppressed by the normalized white society where it is so easy to fall into this routine of whiteness or mediocrity.

The meat market in Seoul is open all year round but is most active during the summertime, when adoptees are coming back for holiday.  This is the busiest time in Seoul for returning adoptees.   We find each other at guest houses, gatherings, at the bars, or through friends of friends – as most everyone has at least 2 friends in common.  Some people are disgusted by this meat market but many are excited by the prospect of returning visitors and new adoptees arriving in Korea.  Fresh meat.  New prey.  It is nice for those of us who have attachment issues because we are able to have something short term, to stay a bit detached.  We know the visitors will only be here a month or two at most, maybe six months if they are studying, before returning to their adoptive country.  Likewise, it can be nice for the visitors who also don’t want anything serious with someone, let alone an adoptee – before returning to their white country, white boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or family.  I guess it is a two way street, with many accidents.

I don’t condone this meat market, I am just observing the way I see the reality of Seoul amongst adoptees – and like I said, this is no secret amongst those of us who live here.  In the summer time of Seoul it is possible to “visit” Germany, France, and Denmark all in one month without a passport!  No visa required.

This being said, it is hard to find stability in relations in this type of incestuous environment.  Everyone has history with somebody else’s someone else or ex-someone.  Is it better to be with a native Korean or date outside the community?  Is this the type of experience our adoptions push us to choose?  How adoption affects our choices, our relationships.  Or is it what we need to stay grounded and connected in a city where loneliness runs through the veins of the city?  To those of us who live here looking for a healthy stable relationship, I’d like to say, good luck to finding the one who you can keep.