“Why are people waiting until they see a black man perpetuate this type of behavior when mainly whites and some kyopos are also acting like native Koreans are the lowest ranking people in this country?”

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To end the week, we give you a piece written by RPG, a twenty-something Korean adoptee living in Seoul.  It was originally posted on the writer’s Facebook page.  The writer has given Land of Gazillion Adoptees permission to be able to share it with you, dear reader.

A few thoughts before the feature presentation:

As someone who once worked in the adoption industry, I’m fully aware of the fact that many adoptive parents frequently ask adoption agencies for resources to help them talk about issues of race with their children.  I encourage adoptive parents to consider the idea that perhaps they’re searching for resources in the wrong places.  Perhaps adoptive parents need to seek out resources from adult adoptees.

As someone who has been involved in the adoptee community for a while, I’m fully aware of how dismissive “older” adoptees (present company not excluded) can be of “younger” adoptees.  Folks, we “older” adoptees need to encourage individuals like RPG to get their thoughts out there, rather than telling them, “Go take care of your shit first before you talk about the heavy stuff.”  Clearly, as the following piece demonstrates, we can all learn from the thoughts and perspectives of our younger colleagues.

Enjoy.

P.S. Land of Gazillion Adoptees will be on vacation next week.  We’ll be back on Monday, October 10th.
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Some of you may have seen the video that someone caught on their mobile phone of a black man threatening a Korean ajussi (old man) on one of the city buses here in Seoul recently. If you haven’t seen it, in the video a young black man is giving a harsh yelling at the ajussi and eventually starts to beat up on him.

In the video, you can notice how no Korean or person on the bus is doing a thing to stick up for this ajussi and everyone is just standing there. Even though the way the black man treats the ajussi is unwarrantedly brutal – because of course the ajussi is just not strong enough to fight back – the only person appearing to try to make the ruckus stop is the ajumma (old woman) who is sitting next to the ajussi and presumably his wife. The bus driver doesn’t even pull over to call for help.

Shortly after the video was released, I happened to see an event posted on Facebook held in Itaewon (the foreigners district in Seoul and also where the US base is located), sort of like a town-hall meeting, for foreigners and Koreans a like to discuss this incident. The event had stated that it was an outlet for people to discuss this incident because many people were appalled at this type of behavior happening. To be honest, I am not up to current events, but I had never seen anything organized like this before to discuss an incident related to foreigner behavior in Korea.

I couldn’t help but to think to myself WHY IS THIS MEETING TAKING PLACE NOW?

I live in Itaewon and every month I see incidents of appalling behavior from foreigners, mainly white US. Military and white English speaking foreigners (presumably English teachers), which means other people probably see this behavior, too. I admit that kyopos also cause some trouble, too – but just a few weeks ago I saw a Colonel from the US military so piss drunk he fell into the roof of an ajumma’s shop across the alley. He broke a lot of the ajummas stuff, including the roof. The ajumma said it would be okay if he gave her a little bit of money, but he refused. There was a language barrier but the Colonel was telling the ajumma very slowly and stupidly, “WE [Americans] HELP YOUR PEOPLE. WE GIVE YOU MONEY.” Then he was threatening her saying “I’LL GIVE YOU MONEY BUT YOUR FAMILY WILL HAVE TROUBLE.” When me and a friend (European adoptee) went outside to see what was going on, the soldier was already in a cop car – but of course nothing would happen to him and the ajumma would never receive and reimbursement because the Koreans turn the soldiers over to the US military for them to deal with (anyone remember the incident where the girls were hit by the tank a few years back?).

When we tried explaining to the Colonel that the ajumma had asked for a bit of money to repair the shop, he said, “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM A COLONEL. I HELP YOUR COUNTRY.” Of course he didn’t know that I was American and my friend was European because we both are adopted and look Korean, but this is just an example of the type of ignorant, appalling behavior I have seen from foreigners around here.

So back to my point. I am not at all warranting the type of behavior that can be found in the video of the scene on the bus, but I couldn’t help but thinking WHY IS THIS MEETING HAPPENING NOW when I see incidents like this every month?

The only real reason I could think of was because the man in this video was black. I guess people would rather speak up about incidents like these when they see a black man perpetuating this type of ignorant, condescending foreigner behavior than a white man or a kyopo.

Although, again, I don’t defend the man in the video and I do believe in constructive and open dialogue, it made me sick to my stomach to see an event posted like this only after a black man was involved. I couldn’t help but think that this was a form of racism. Why are people waiting until they see a black man perpetuate this type of behavior when mainly whites and some kyopos are also acting like native Koreans are the lowest ranking people in this country?

FB Friends, Part 1: Christina Seong

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Facebook is a weird place, right?  Awhile back, someone “recommended” that I friend a woman named Christina Seong, whom I’ve never met.  So, I did.  A few weeks later, I hear this “pop” and it’s Christina FB chatting me, saying:

“hi kevin. i’m christina. i actually forget who suggests we be fb friends. but hello ;)

The next thing I know, “since I know her so well,” I’m asking her for an interview, and I find out all of this interesting stuff about her.  Apparently she has actually visited the Fargo/Moorhead area rather than hear about it in the news or see portions of it in a Cohen Brothers’ movie, has curated an adoptee art exhibit, and is currently a graduate student at the University of Washington in human centered design and engineering…

Enjoy.
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Land of Gazillion Adoptees: You attended the most recent AAAW event. What were the highlights for you and what are mini gatherings important?

Christina: One of the main highlights for me was the opportunity to meet some of the most amazing and passionate people within the Asian Adoptee Community. I’ve attended Gatherings in the past (in Korea), but this past weekend I felt very blessed to be around such wonderful people.

Often times we’re in our own bubble and normal lives, so when you’re able to get out of that comfort zone and meet new people it’s a nice change of pace. And when you get to meet other Asian adoptees, it makes it that much more meaningful. There’s a sense of connection right away.

And towards the end of the weekend you can see all these new friendships and connections on Facebook. Soon you have 20+ new friends! Sorry if I’m gushing. I think I still am on my weekend high from all of the weekend events.

I also think it was great to celebrate the 15th Anniversary of AAAW. And everyone getting together to celebrate what we, as a community, have become. I know I have told many friends about the Gatherings and Mini-Gatherings I’ve attended, and some find it very interesting and others get a little jealous they don’t have something like this as well.

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: You’re totally gushing… You read a poem at the event.  Would you mind talking about the piece?

Christina: So I was asked to perform some poetry for the Welcome Reception. I actually never considered myself a writer/port. I would do it on occasion, but very sporadically. Truth be told, I was very nervous. I knew I was reading with Lee Herrick and Kevin Minh Allen, so I was a bit intimidated to be reading with such great writers. I also don’t perform poems that often. So I think my nerves were getting the best of me when I was trying to write some poems for Thursday’s event.

I actually read four pieces, but the one you’re talking about was called What If. Everyone has what if’s in life about the past, present and future. Over the past year, I’ve dealt with a lot of loss and grief with my (adoptive) mom passing away. So the inspiration of the piece came from examining the what if’s, especially to Korea and my birth family. And ultimately considering what it would be like to reach out to a family I’ve never met.

Since we all have what if’s in life, I hoped that the piece could resonate on some level with the guests at the Mini. I have several friends who have met their birth families and continue some sort of relationship with them. For me, I’ve always been so hesitant to do a search for fear of getting rejected (again). But you never know, maybe I will be ready and set aside my what if’s and try to live in the moment.

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: How many MN adoptees do you know and are we really good looking or super crazy?

Christina: I know some MN adoptees, including one who has now moved here to Seattle. But the ones I have met and spent time with are great people. I actually almost moved to MN, Duluth MN to be exact when I was 11 or 12. I was told at the time that there were a lot of Korean adoptees in MN. But I don’t know if that included Duluth as well. Haha!

But I think you are all very good looking and maybe a little crazy. But really, when did a little crazy hurt anyone? Ehh? :D

Land of Gazillion Adoptees: Never! Thanks, Christina! And to you, dear reader, I would encourage you to go check out Christina’s website (www.seesong.com), which is full of stuff that displays her hipster cred. (Am I too old to say hipster cred? Totally… *sigh*)

“What If”
By Christina Song

A mind can be consumed
With a maze of what if’s
Winding down endless paths
That lead to fantastical hopes
And possible disappointments

My whole life
Pondering the What ifs
Of a Different place
A different world
A different me
What if this?
What if that?

Creating scenarios of what if’s
Instead of why’s
What if Columbus went the other direction?
What if the chicken didn’t cross the road?
What if I wasn’t adopted?
What if stayed in Korea?
What if my mom didn’t get brain cancer?
What if my whole life were different
Than it is now?

I often think of Korea
Of the place
Of the people
Of the family I’ve never met
Each time I return I
Walk through the streets
Staring at familiar features
What if they are looking for me?
What if they are related to me?
A cousin? A sister? A mother?

What if I were a long lost princess that lived in a palace and my life was in danger and I had to be sent away to be safe and the royal family is looking for me and then one day some cute Korean guy comes to me telling me I’m a princess.

What if that’s actually the plot to a Korean drama….
But still, what if?

What if I get to meet my birth family
One day
Welcoming me with open arms
Sharing memories and stories
Exchanging photos of the old
What if it’s lovely?

Or

What if they’re cold?
Awkward in their stance
Distant in their gaze
What if they hate me?
What if I’m disappointment
And I’m not what they wanted?
What if?

I could get lost in a
Sea of what if’s
Drowning in altered realities
Wanting to change
Events of the past
And moments in the future
We all have what if’s in life
Regrets of what has happened
Hopes of what will happen

One can never be certain of any what if
But
What if I’m not ready for all these what if’s?

Thank You Minnesota Vikings and Kimi Tonneson

We here at Land of Gazillion Adoptees would like to give a HUGE thanks to the Minnesota Vikings and Kimi Tonneson for giving two home season opener tickets/VIP field passes to the “Let’s Give Away $10,000″ effort.  Cindie and Bennett Kouame, who won the tickets, had a wonderful time,  absolutely felt as though they received the VIP treatment, and are truly grateful to have had the opportunity.

Go Vikes!